oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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