My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
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He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize