I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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