she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
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