it was like eating out sand paper
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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