atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Randomize