my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
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