new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
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