he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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