Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize