youre lurking in front of me
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize