On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
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her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
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This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
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