yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
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