you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize