I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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