This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Brb crying the tears of my youth
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
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