Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
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Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
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She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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