Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize