I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
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