he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize