I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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