would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize