I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize