or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
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trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
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if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
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