You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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