Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize