She went from zero to smokin in five shots
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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