R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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