Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
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