tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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