Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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