Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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