Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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