how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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