Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
We left an ass print on the piano.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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