So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
my shit smells like andre
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
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Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
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A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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