Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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