Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
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do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
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Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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