this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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