I'm so fucking centered right now
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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