so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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