there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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