You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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