Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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