Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
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