apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize