Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
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