Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
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Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
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there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
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