you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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