i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize